Mean Street Breakfast

New York is the place to be for breakfast. All over this country misguided diners and delis serve what they think are Bacon, Egg & Cheese Sandwiches. But this most perfect morning confection is only truly available to folks in the Empire State-- and I don't even know if I should include anything north of Poughkeepsie in that statement. Oh wait... except now, you can make it at home because I've figured out that all you need is loads of bacon grease, a cast iron skillet and an attitude that says "I'm better than you."

So welcome to the new order of amazing weekend breakfasts. I used to spend my Saturday mornings whipping up a veritable smorgasbord: scramby eggs, whole wheat pancakes, oatmeal raisin scones, lots of fruit. But not any more. And  it's a good thing i figured out how to make these little sandwiches now, considering all of the ingredients will probably be illegal in New York very soon.

And now a warning: The following recipe makes two sandwiches. This is not so you can eat them both by yourself. This recipe may call for you to consume about half a cup of bacon grease. The shame must be shared with someone else. So make someone you love a delicious breakfast that says, "Hey, I just killed you a little bit. Loves!"

New York Bacon, Egg & Cheese

2 kaiser rolls (with poppy seeds if you can find them)
1 Tbs. salted butter, room temperature
4 slices thick cut bacon (don't use anything sweet like applewood smoked)
4 eggs
Salt & Pepper
2 slices American cheese-like product, at room temperature
2 sheets of aluminum foil, enough to wrap up the rolls with

Special Equipment: cast iron skillet

1. Heat up your skillet so it's screamin' hot. With my stove/skillet it usually takes about ten minutes on high to get the handle really hot. That's how I judge when it's ready.

2. Meanwhile, split the two rolls open and pop them into the oven at 200° F just until they're warm-- 5 minutes or so. Then pop them in the broiler cut-side down for 2 minutes, or until the outside of the rolls are slightly hard, but not browned. [Ok, this might seem like overkill. Baking and broiling? The bread needs to be warm, soft on the inside and flakey on the outside. This little ritual works for me.] Spread the bottom-half of each roll with salted butter, close and wrap individually in aluminum foil. 

3. When the pan is ready, start cooking your bacon. Take the bacon out of the pan before it gets good and crispy. Wrap up in some paper towels and set aside.

4. See all that grease in the pan? Well you're going to cook those eggs in there. If you feel gross about it, you can pour some of the grease out. But the cast iron is really heavy, and the handle is really hot, and the grease is really hot, and it's a very messy process, but do what you will. The best way to add the eggs so they all cook evenly is to break them all into a bowl and then pour them into the pan from there.
 

5. Crack the yolks with your spatula and set the burner to medium. Season with salt and pepper. The edges are going to bubble a lot, but you don't have to mess with them too much. Just cook the eggs like you would over-easy: loosen the edges, and when the whites are no longer clear, flip the eggs over.

6. Now add the slices of cheese to two of the eggs, and when they're sturdy enough to be flipped again, partner up your cheesey egg with the regular one, and flatten with your spatula until the cheese is just melted. 

7. Unwrap the rolls and put an egg/cheese/egg combo on each roll. Squish it shut with your hand and wrap it back up in the foil.

Serve with a muddy cup of black coffee and From Concentrate orange juice.

For the next two hours you might feel like someone just punched you in the stomach.

Welcome to New York.